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:iconallenjmiller:

=allenjmiller

roamer wanderer nomad vagabond

this bed is on fire...

Journal Entry: Sat Jun 28, 2008, 11:00 PM








...with passionate love
the neighbours complain about the noises above
but she only comes when she’s on top

my therapist said not to see you no more
she said you’re like a disease without any cure
she said i’m so obsessed that i’m becoming a bore, oh no
ah, you think you’re so pretty

caught your hand inside the till
slammed your fingers in the door
fought with kitchen knives and skewers
dressed me up in womens clothes
messed around with gender roles
dye my eyes and call me pretty

moved out of the house, so you moved next door
i locked you out, you cut a hole in the wall
i found you sleeping next to me, i thought i was alone
you’re driving me crazy, when are you coming home

--james































so...

the big move is a week away. i'm equal parts excited and petrified. interesting emotional amalgamation to be sure. i weathered the dreaded anniversaries without incident. well, without incident that anyone else was aware of. it doesn't count unless you drag some one else into your nightmare, right? that's better than dealing with the constant 'are you ok?' and all that emotional bullshit. people don't understand and i really don't expect them to. after all, it's something i should have been over years ago isn't it?

other than that, the last few weeks have been a crusade to track down all my 'stuff.' it's amazing how spread out your 'stuff' gets when you live in one relatively small geographic area for so long but move as much as i do. i haven't found a new place to keep the aforementioned 'stuff' as of yet, but i don't think it will be too difficult in a city of four million or so people. that brings to mind a hilarious george carlin bit.

RIP to george by the way. i was saddened by the news of his passing though, to be honest, he'd had one foot in the grave for a long time. when we saw him in february 2004 he was merely a shadow of the carlin from the '70s. so in a way it's something i've seen coming for a while and i'm glad he is resting peacefully now.

so, i am winding down the last few days of work here in abq. next saturday will be the last. sunday i'll get the van fully loaded and start heading west. i don't plan on hurrying. actually i intend to stop a thousand times along the way and get into phx on tuesday or wednesday. after that i have until the 21st when i start my new job. a mini vacation of sorts. not that it's going to be relaxing or mellow in the least, but at least i won't have work to deal with on top of the whole 'getting acclimated to life in the city' thing.

that's about it. nothing exceptional happening here. hope you're all well.

:peace:

ajm

---

today's visual thought...


june-19
guess where...



  • Mood: Excited
  • Listening to: further down the spiral ep. NIN
  • Reading: ugh. who has time for that?
  • Watching: the goodwill pile grow exponentially
  • Playing: reformed packrat. aka. tossing pearls to swine
  • Eating: happy pills. the pink and blue ones
  • Drinking: whisky. yeah i meant to spell it that way

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0

can't wait!
i'll have to figure out some time to put aside so we can just hang when you get here.

things have gotten unusually busy :hmm:


--
S U R R E A L . D R E A M E R
 
Definately take some time to relax a bit on the way out there :relax: It's a new way to be for you so enjoy yourself to the fullest :nod:

--
:w00t: Be JOYOUS!!! Sieze a friend and lick 'em!
yeah you should. busy, eh? yeah that's no fun

--
all the ways you wish you could be,
that's me.
i look like you wanna look,
i fuck like you wanna fuck,
i am smart, capable,
and most importantly,
i am free in all the ways that you are not.
--palahniuk
thanks. i hope to for sure

--
all the ways you wish you could be,
that's me.
i look like you wanna look,
i fuck like you wanna fuck,
i am smart, capable,
and most importantly,
i am free in all the ways that you are not.
--palahniuk
Excellent news, I hope all proceeds as planned during the move.
What will your new job be?

--
Click Me! :)

I would not be here if I had not been introduced to dA by my good friend srawberry-lilla
Eeep! I'm so excited!!! D:D

--
Serena C. Murno, Ethereal Images Photography, Phoenix, Arizona, USA

A true artist has had his heart ripped to more pieces than there are people on Earth. He knows loss, is unafraid and looks the Devil in the face each night as he brushes his teeth.
Good luck with that Allen.

:icongwomp:


Your visual thought - guessing Australia.
Because [link] is similar, and was taken in Australia.


--


:heart:Jules

Life is a foreign language. Men just don't speak it properly.
by the way.
no.
you aren't necessarily supposed to be over it already.

i'm not over a lot of things that i feel i should be over just because i'm a guilty person.
things that i tell myself, "oh someone has it worse." when really if someone else can find comfort in complaining/feeling bad about someone accidentally stepping on their foot in passing, why can't i feel comfort in feeling bad about my problems that aren't quite that small?

i guess that's why i don't talk about things a lot. i don't want someone to say "quit yer bitchin'" or something.

so no. there are reasons why you shouldn't or couldn't be over it by now and that isn't bad.
*shrugs*
i don't know what else to tell you about that at this moment in time.

i wish you the best of luck with the move, you know that.
and i send you all my love, my dear friend, allen.

don't be a stranger.
[any more than you literally could be considered in this situation].

:smooch::hug:
be well.


--
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

-e.e. cummings
Lovely seaside photo... Where exactly was it taken?
By the way -> [link] Here you go :)

--
:pointr: I belong to:
~Classic-Rockers *Cute-Craft

90% of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10% that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your signature.

so... new account to go with this new direction?

49%
39 deviants said no. they should be fine together. it's all your work after all.
47%
37 deviants said what new direction?
4%
3 deviants said yes, the two shouldn't be mixed.

everyone loves stamps!!!














:thumb87407113:




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